Archive for Amusement

Tell it like it is

Post secret updated today (as they do every sunday) but this week one of the entries hit close to home and in turn my funny bone. I like to imagine one of my friends sent this in (and would not be surprised if that was true)…

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Kanji to the rescue!

So have any of you been watching that new reality series on CBS called Rock Star? Yeah neither have I, however I did happen to see (on the internet) this awesome display of profanity on network television. What makes me even happier about it is the idea that maybe, just maybe, our little friend had no idea what his shirts said. I remember joking about how they could print anything on a shirt and as long as it was in Kanji most kids would never be the wiser. I guess in reality they can go ahead and print it in english, but make it look like Kanji and get away with it! Ha, I love it. And if you are looking for a Japanese girlfriend, you can now advertise it on your t-shirt.

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New and improved

Today’s Borowitz Report is rather funny (although I guess it is pretty much everyday).

One day after Madonna suffered a broken collarbone while riding a horse on her forty-seventh birthday, scientists successfully cloned the music superstar to enable her upcoming world tour to proceed as planned.

It reminds me of a movie I saw at Sundance a couple years ago called It’s All About Love. The female main character (played by Claire Danes) was a world famous ice skater. Her managers, distressed that she might quit and that they’d be out a shit load of money, decided to clone her. That way if she ever quit, died, what have you, her persona could continue on. Ultimately the movie was kind of long and boring, but it was an interesting idea. When a human becomes a commodity for their image or ability, it is no wonder one would want to grow them on trees. It is difficult for us to say goodbye to eras. I wonder if this is because something (or someone) was actually that good, or if we simply fear that it will never be that good again.

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Good for what ails you

I think this is the best idea I have heard since Placebon (you have to scroll way down to the “TMQ’s Health Care Solution” header)…
Apple Will Release Lower Cost iPlacebo

“The point of the iPlacebo is to allow the average person who can’t spend $340 on a limited edition U2 iPod to buy a similar, although not functional, product which will enable them to fit in with the rest of the crowd,”

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La douche

I randomly ended up on the Wiki bio for Rich Clifford, a NASA Astronaut (among other things). In the paragraph discussing his personal life it states:

[He and his wife] have two sons: Richard Benjamin (born March 14, 1980) and Brandon Brunson, who is a major douche (born May 19, 1983).

Ah the beauty of a communal encyclopedia. I hope this entry doesn’t draw anyone’s attention to it that might delete it because it has me laughing out loud.

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Defcon 13

What a hit this event was. We had to endure some serious heat and some serious drinking and lack of sleep, but we also got to enjoy some well thought out and intelligent talks, lots of interesting strangers and some great company with old friends and new.

A couple things about being a female at Defcon:

  1. There was NEVER a line for the bathroom. For the first time in my life I saw lines for the men’s room while I was always able to walk right in and have a pee.
  2. During the day I felt as a respected equal, but as the sun went down and the bellies filled with booze inevitably every guy that talked to me found themselves unable to do so without simultaneously man handling me.

Photographic evidence here

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Open source finds home outside the digital realm

Some students at the IT University at Copenhagen were challenged to apply open source ideals to “real” life (you know, that stuff that occurs outside of digital life). They decided to create the first open source beer. They have published their recipe, including branding and design components, under the Creative Commons License which entitles anyone to use and change the recipe as they see fit (and even profit from it), they just also have to publish their version under the same license. Vores Øl (Our Beer), Version 1.0, is a “medium strong beer (6% vol) with a deep golden red color and an original but familiar taste.” They also brew it with Guarana which is basically naturally occurring caffeine – man do they know their target market or what?

Why beer?
Why not? We all like beer, and as an added bonus there is a legendary quote used to explain the concept of free software (now usually referred to as open source software):

“Free software” is a matter of liberty, not price. To understand the concept, you should think of “free” as in “free speech”, not as in “free beer”.

We think that our open source beer is a nice twist on this quote, and we think it is interesting to see if our beer grows stronger in out in the free and perhaps one day becomes the Linux of beers. Who knows?

You can read a little more about it here http://www.voresoel.dk and A LOT more about it if you speak Danish.

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Best of…

Best of Craigslist has been updated.
Some of my favorites this go round…
They say honesty is the best policy and I agree. I think this is a good strategy. Lazy girl seeks same in boy form
And because I also get annoyed with spelling a grammatical errors (although I am sure I make them) I was amused by Missed connection with the apostrophe
And don’t miss My Ipod Shuffle thinks I’m Gay
UPDATE: Oh wait, I just found this… HAHAHAHA!

Ohh ooh! Post Secret updated too!

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Survey Says…

Apparently “loafing” around on the internet is the most popular form of slacking off at work these days says news.com. It is funny because we have a temp right now. She doesn’t have much to do other than answer phones and she brought a magazine with her today to entertain herself during slow parts of the day. I thought to myself as I walked past the front desk “Why doesn’t she just surf the net, at least then she looks busy?”

The average worker admits to frittering away 2.09 hours per day, not counting lunch, according to the report. That’s far more time than the roughly one hour per day employers expect the average employee to waste, the report said. The extra unproductive time adds up to $759 billion annually in salaries for which companies get no apparent benefit, the report said.

Wow when you put into BILLIONS of dollars, it kind of makes you think… anway, back to frittering away my expected 1 hour for the day 😉

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I seen her in the back of taco bell with handcuffs

A great top 11 from BBspot for all the super geeks out there 😉


Yo Momma Insults for Physicists
By David Olsen

11. Yo momma’s so fat the only curve on her is the curve of space-time that occurs around any super massive object.
10. Yo momma’s so ugly Schroedinger’s cat was all-dead just knowing she existed.
9. Yo momma’s so fat she accounts for the 90 % of missing matter in the universe.
8. Yo momma’s so fat her first diet ever is going to be called “The Big Crunch”.
7. Yo momma’s so stupid she thinks Galileo is Spanish for ‘girlfriend’.
6. Yo momma’s so fat she contradicts a heliocentric solar system.
5. Yo momma’s so stupid all of her family calls her a special relativity.
4. Yo momma’s so stupid she thinks “Haw” is a middle name, and Steven Hawking wrote “The Stand”.
3. Yo momma’s so ugly, stuff running from her accounts for the acceleration of the expansion of the universe.
2. Yo momma’s so fat her waistline is called the event horizon.
1. Yo momma’s so stupid she thinks this line is false.

Anyone got some good Yo Momma jokes for me?
Here are a few to get your creative mind working

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Let me whisper in your ear

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